Chapter 4: The Validation Junkie

Okay, grab your chai—make sure it’s hot, because I have some serious tea to spill, and this time, the tea is actually about me.

Remember how I’ve been acting all "strong and independent" lately, talking about taking the remote control of my life back? Well, today the universe decided to test that, and let’s just say I almost snapped the remote in half. I was supposed to meet up with a friend this Sunday afternoon, and when she told me she couldn’t make it, I didn’t just get annoyed. I went into full-blown fury mode.

I’m talking heat in my chest, a raging “how dare she,” and pure “am I even a priority to anyone?” type of energy. In that exact moment, I realized I’d handed her the remote control to my entire mood. I felt so incredibly hurt, and I let my brain start doing that toxic thing where it builds a whole script about why I don’t matter.

But then, I actually talked to her. I forced myself to tell her how I felt because I couldn’t keep that exhausting loop playing in my head anymore, and—plot twist—she actually had a really valid reason.

Once she explained everything, all that hot anger just turned into this awkward puddle of “oh.” Now I’m sitting here feeling a little bit like a massive drama queen. It’s that classic "Validation Junkie" behavior—I was waiting for her to make me feel important so I could finally feel okay about myself.

The reality is, I almost let one empty afternoon ruin my entire vibe. But we have goals, remember? The exam is March 22nd, and I’ve got exactly 51 days to go. So, instead of sulking, I’m reclaiming my Sunday. I’ve decided to make it my official Pamper Day. I’m heading to the parlour to get that glow-up in the afternoon, and in the evening, I’m treating myself to some seriously tasty food. I'm not even planning what I'll eat yet; I'm just going to decide in the moment and follow my heart. No more waiting for a "yes" from someone else to feel good—I'm saying yes to myself.

I’m acknowledging the sting because it’s okay to be a girl who cares deeply, but I’m closing the tab on that argument in my brain. My happiness isn't tied to anyone else's schedule. It’s hard being brave and scared at the same time, but choosing a face mask and a spontaneous meal over sitting in bitterness? That’s the real victory.

51 days to go. Today was a stumble, a messy conversation, and a huge lesson learned. But we’re still in this, and we’re figuring it out together.

Gussa thoda jayaz, dil mein thodi haar thi,

Wo narazgi toh mahaj, pal do pal ka bukhaar thi.

Ab baazi apni hai, khud ko laad-pyaar karna hai,

Taiyari jeet ki hai, ab bas aage badhna hai.

Have you ever caught yourself acting like a "Validation Junkie" and letting someone else's canceled plans ruin your entire mood?