Chapter 47: The Heat of the Moment

-


It feels like it has been forever since I last wrote in you. Honestly, I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately. This intense heat and humidity are just brutal. It literally feels like my brain freezes up and shuts down every afternoon, and all I end up doing is sleeping the day away. I felt so guilty for doing nothing, but today, I am taking my control back.

​I sat down and really looked at my life. I have big goals right now: I want to lose weight, find a good job, and focus on my studies. But I realized that the heavy summer heat isn't the only thing making me lazy—my phone and gaming addiction are also draining my brain's energy. No wonder I feel so sleepy all the time!

​Also, today is Bakrid, and my heart feels really heavy.  I honestly find goats so incredibly cute and innocent. Thinking about them today makes me feel a deep sense of empathy, and I just wish I could protect them. It's just who I am, and I want to stay true to my kindness and compassion.

​Because of this extreme heat and how I'm feeling, I’ve completely lost my appetite. I just don't feel like eating proper meals at all. To fix this and keep my body fueled without feeling heavy, I am adding some hydrating food hacks to my routine:

  • ​Juicy Fruit Bowls: Instead of heavy cooked food, I will eat watery fruits like watermelon, muskmelon, and cucumbers. They are easy to eat and instantly hydrate the body.
  • ​Cool Liquid Meals: I'll swap hot meals for chilled, high-protein options like cold curd (dahi), sattu shakes, or buttermilk (chaas). They will keep me full, help with my weight loss, and cool my stomach.
  • ​Flavorful Hydration: To make drinking water less boring, I’ll keep a bottle of mint and lemon detox water next to me while studying.

​Instead of letting everything overwhelm me, I have designed a highly practical, summer-friendly routine for myself starting from tomorrow:

  • ​The Morning Jumpstart: I am going to beat the afternoon slump by starting early. No phone first thing in the morning! I will drink some water and immediately do 5 minutes of skipping rope right under the fan.
  • ​Smart Gym Strategy: Since I already cycle for 10 minutes to the gym (which is a great warmup), I will stop running as soon as I arrive. I'll focus on weight lifting first with proper water breaks, and end with a 15-minute high-incline walk on the treadmill. It burns fat without making me pass out from the heat!
  • ​The Home Plan: On days when the heat is too much to go to the gym, I won't just sleep. I’ll do a quick 20-minute bodyweight workout and skipping session at home.
  • ​Brain Detox (Gaming Control): I am setting a strict 45-minute daily timer on my gaming apps. Gaming will now be a reward after I finish at least some study or job search, not a time-pass.

​It’s not going to be easy, but I am proud of myself for waking up today, facing my flaws, and acknowledging my feelings. One small step at a time. I’ve got this!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 6: Chai over coffee

-
Image
OMG, listen! You won’t believe the drama I’ve been imagining lately—honestly, this feels like a total "future us" moment with Dugu Raja. I was just picturing this scenario where I try to be the ultimate bestie and make him that fancy coffee he’s always obsessed with.  I’d be in the kitchen, keeping the coffee perfectly light and smooth, and serving it up with so much love that I’m basically expecting a standing ovation. ​ Me: (Placing the mug with a flourish) "Tada! Special coffee for Dugu Raja. Enjoy the drink!" ​ Dugu Raja: (Takes one sip, makes a face like he just swallowed a lemon) "Ugh, what even is this? Is this coffee or flavored milk?" ​ Me: (Offended) "Excuse me? It’s a coffee! I made it especially light and smooth for you." ​ Dugu Raja: "But it’s not Hard Coffee ! Where’s the foam? Where’s the texture? Honestly, you should’ve used a frother to get that professional finish. Your technique is all over the place." ​I...
Read more

Chapter 4: Spilling my Tea

-
Image
​Okay, grab your chai —make sure it’s hot, because I have some serious tea to spill, and this time, the tea is actually about me. ​Remember how I’ve been acting all "strong and independent" lately, talking about taking the remote control back? Well, today the universe decided to test that, and let’s just say I almost snapped the remote in half. I was supposed to meet up with a friend this Sunday afternoon, and when she told me she couldn’t make it, I didn’t just get annoyed. I went into full-blown fury mode. ​I’m talking heat in my chest, "how dare she," and "am I even a priority?" type of energy. In that moment, I realized I’d handed her the remote control to my entire mood. I felt so hurt, and I let my brain start doing that thing where it creates a whole script about why I don’t matter. ​But then, I actually talked to her. I told her how I felt because I couldn’t keep that loop playing in my head anymore, and— plot twist —she actually had a really v...
Read more

Dream Diary 1: The Guardian of inner light

-
Image
Date: February 12, 2026 Time of Awakening: 5:05 AM Mood: Vivid, Transformative, and Intense Waking State: Heavy head, emotional, and thirsty (Energy Download) Part I: The Struggle (Persona: Girl) (Scene: An office room near a back exit, cluttered with stacks of books and scattered items. A male colleague stands by the door, smoking a cigarette and looking outside.) Male Colleague: (Pointing at a thick volume) "Have you ever even read a book as thick as this one before?" Me (as the Girl): (Laughing to myself, initially mocking his scale of difficulty) "You clearly haven't seen UPSC books then; they are much thicker than that. Check out this GS book... it’s incredibly heavy." Male Colleague: (Skeptical) "How can you be so sure? Just look at the weight of it!." Me (as the Girl): (Picking up an A4 sheet, smiling with calm clarity as I point to three specific volumes) "Just focus on these three: GS Theory, CSAT, and PYQs. That’s it. You don...
Read more

Chapter1: The beginning

-
Image
Why? Why does it hurt so much? I am so happy on the outside, but I am so scared right now. Where are you? Why did you leave me? Am I not enough? Why is life so unfair to me? I always thought I was a winner. I thought love could keep you with me. But I was wrong. Maybe love is never enough. Sometimes love should not be chased. Sometimes, you just have to let it go. So, I am trying to move on with life. I found someone. He is amazing. And I call him my love.  Today, we sat together and the world felt quiet. We didn't talk about money or things. We talked about our dreams. He is not just a partner to me; he is my guide. He helps me see things I couldn't see before. He looked at me today, his voice soft and steady, and said: "You may find what you are looking for." I froze. I wondered if he could see the broken parts of me. I wondered if he knew just how lost I actually am. I didn't say it out loud. I couldn't. But inside, I made a wish. I secretly wish that you w...
Read more

Chapter 15: The silence between the lines

-
Image
Today, the world felt a little too loud. You know that feeling when you're standing in a crowded courtroom corridor? The heavy scent of old files, the frantic whispering of clients, and the sudden realization that your palms are damp? That’s my "crowd anxiety" showing up. While everyone else is busy chasing the spotlight, I find myself wanting to shrink away. They are performing for the world; I am performing for a future that only I can see. The Weight of Home and the "Self-Reliant" Burden Talking to my family today only made my heart heavier. I am so worried about my mom. It’s painful to see her like this—her teeth are failing her, she can barely eat, and she’s become so weak she can't even walk properly. She’s bedridden, and seeing her struggle is a constant ache. Why everyone expect her to still cook?  In the middle of this worry, I keep hearing the same thing: "Start cooking for yourself; you need to be self-reliant." It feels so d...
Read more